Working in Limbo
I have a strange working environment.
In an office fit for more 200 people, there are, at maximum, there are only 14 of us on the entire floor, and that's already including HR and IT personnel.
My boss is based in Manila so nobody is here to check on me. I can literally log in from home and still get paid (something I don't and will never do - check my previous blog for the reason).
Even with a training class, I can still spend my entire day in front of my computer just watching movies or cartoons.
You might think that I am living the good life. I am not. Being unproductive is driving me crazy. It's also making me sick.
I have noticed that the lesser work I have at the office, the worse I feel. When I still had full training days, I would always end the day tired but happy. Sure, my feet would feel like lead at the end of the shift, but the rest of my body as well as my mind felt great. There was a sense of accomplishment that energized me.
These days tho I am feeling more tired than when I was doing varsity martial arts. Tired without the blisters and bruises. The strain I am feeling now is more mental, which is also affecting my body. My knees ache, my back hurts, and I have headaches all the time. There's just this overall body malaise that I never really felt when I was still constantly active at work.
Perhaps it's my age. I am in my mid thirties. I am an overweight 30something single Asian female who rarely, if ever gets any exercise. Sure, I am not as overweight as some people, but I am still overweight and "big" by Asian standards.
All I know is that the physical fatigue that I am feeling right now is because of mental unrest.
Maybe I should get a hobby. Maybe I should start jogging before work. Maybe I should stop making excuses.
I should stop saying maybe. I should just get up and do things that will make me happy.
In an office fit for more 200 people, there are, at maximum, there are only 14 of us on the entire floor, and that's already including HR and IT personnel.
My boss is based in Manila so nobody is here to check on me. I can literally log in from home and still get paid (something I don't and will never do - check my previous blog for the reason).
Even with a training class, I can still spend my entire day in front of my computer just watching movies or cartoons.
You might think that I am living the good life. I am not. Being unproductive is driving me crazy. It's also making me sick.
I have noticed that the lesser work I have at the office, the worse I feel. When I still had full training days, I would always end the day tired but happy. Sure, my feet would feel like lead at the end of the shift, but the rest of my body as well as my mind felt great. There was a sense of accomplishment that energized me.
These days tho I am feeling more tired than when I was doing varsity martial arts. Tired without the blisters and bruises. The strain I am feeling now is more mental, which is also affecting my body. My knees ache, my back hurts, and I have headaches all the time. There's just this overall body malaise that I never really felt when I was still constantly active at work.
Perhaps it's my age. I am in my mid thirties. I am an overweight 30something single Asian female who rarely, if ever gets any exercise. Sure, I am not as overweight as some people, but I am still overweight and "big" by Asian standards.
All I know is that the physical fatigue that I am feeling right now is because of mental unrest.
Maybe I should get a hobby. Maybe I should start jogging before work. Maybe I should stop making excuses.
I should stop saying maybe. I should just get up and do things that will make me happy.
Comments
Post a Comment