11252016 - No Apologies and Sleepless Nights
I woke up at 3am today. I think it's because I went to bed early and my body is used to getting a maximum of 6 hours worth of sleep every night.
Or maybe it was because I had a fight with my mother the night before.
I've never been particularly good with sleeping when I am bothered by something. Work, family, friends...if something is bothering me, chances are I'm going to have several sleepless nights over it.
No, I don't feel like apologizing to my mother. Nobody in my family apologizes. We seem to be full of prideful people (myself included) who believe in letting things blow over instead of settling our differences. We don't care if that person lives in the same house or in New York. Apologies be damned in my family.
My mother will eventually get over our fight. She always does. If she doesn't, things are going to stay the same. She's going to go back to New York and I'll get to talk to her maybe once every two weeks if I would be so fortunate.
Which brings me to what I think is my purpose in life: be the family's convenient go-to person when people need something such as internet connection or to contact my mother via Viber. Aside from that, I am nothing. I am no one. I am the invisible family member, much like a servant who just happens to be related to the people she serves.
Unrelated side note: I'm writing this inside a coffee shop, on the wettest day of the month. And I see two people who are occupying 2 tables and 4 seats. Two for them, two for their shopping bags while people are looking around for empty seats. Assholes.
Or maybe it was because I had a fight with my mother the night before.
I've never been particularly good with sleeping when I am bothered by something. Work, family, friends...if something is bothering me, chances are I'm going to have several sleepless nights over it.
No, I don't feel like apologizing to my mother. Nobody in my family apologizes. We seem to be full of prideful people (myself included) who believe in letting things blow over instead of settling our differences. We don't care if that person lives in the same house or in New York. Apologies be damned in my family.
My mother will eventually get over our fight. She always does. If she doesn't, things are going to stay the same. She's going to go back to New York and I'll get to talk to her maybe once every two weeks if I would be so fortunate.
Which brings me to what I think is my purpose in life: be the family's convenient go-to person when people need something such as internet connection or to contact my mother via Viber. Aside from that, I am nothing. I am no one. I am the invisible family member, much like a servant who just happens to be related to the people she serves.
Unrelated side note: I'm writing this inside a coffee shop, on the wettest day of the month. And I see two people who are occupying 2 tables and 4 seats. Two for them, two for their shopping bags while people are looking around for empty seats. Assholes.
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